October 2009

MoonBlog

Tobacco II

Today started with smoking only at the whole hour (handy wristwatch can tell me with a beep) instead of whenever. Trying to break through the habbit itself besides the addiction.

Noticed sometimes I smoke more per hour and sometimes none for several hours.

Tomorrow will see what options my health care assurance provides/accepts as viable treatments. Been reading meanwhile and soft-laser acupuncture interested me.

And as for doing something else instead of smoking while kicking it, I’ve bought a superb Kettler multi-gym fitness machine almost a year ago, still in the box in the hallway, awaiting me 😉

Small steps..
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MoonBlog 46.2

Some 52, some others too

A few years back I made a deal with myself that every day I would at least do 1 thing of all the ideas I have/had. And it could be something small or simple like shopping for groceries, or do the dishes, but it could also mean taking a motorcycle engine apart. 1 thing, every single day.

In that way I could really acomplish stuff which would otherwise never get done, because I am quite lazy when it comes down to it, at least physically. Mentally I’m almost all the time quite strong and powerfull, always churning, thinking, contemplating, looking at all possible and impossible sides of things, and really elaborate in my mind.

(I’ve written on the humandesignglobal.ning forum blog that I feel that my mind is my most favourite body part. Ok, it has gotten me into trouble at times but it also helped me a lot/more to get out of them, again and again)
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MoonBlog 46.2

WTF, are we doing (here)?

today I didn’t wake up as the artful transmuter, ever since finishing the 3rd webinar I feel shite, or confused, no, angry even.

If we do not exist, if we are not here, then what are we doing (here), why bother (with) this whole process. Why not end it all here and now. I’m no avid believer of suicide, but what the fuck is the point of augmenting the frequency of my dna, if even that does not exist, actually, in reality (?)

Sure, don’t identify with being whatever (a doctor, a reflector, a woman) on this plane, but then it nullifies the genekeys and this quantum field instantaneous too. I had that thought earlier when discussing HDS (Human Design System) and IHD (Integral Human Design), if there is no framework, there is no us even, then what is this transmission we’re supposed to contemplate and embody?
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MoonBlog 52.1

Let the fun start

tomorrow, or next year…

Why is there a need for a separate group of evolve/gathering? Is there a need to hide out from the rest, or a need to differentiate? What does this gathering have to do with GeneKeys as such anyways? I don’t recall it being part of the dozen or so approaches and tools that now make up these GeneKeys. What is the added value for you and/or for me?

I thought we were in this together, all jumping into the water, and supporting each other, whether I know you from before or not, but now it feels like some of you want to create a group inside a group, and swim off from the rest.
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MoonBlog 8.4

Bravado

As I was contemplating my last noticeable physical/mental addiction smoking, it sort of dawned on me that it has probably something to do with my open root center/gates. This stress and nervousness that I do not face but try to evade. And in doing so with this specific drug, I probably increase it, because of the physical effects of smoking. Thinner blood, colder body, eating less, no sports, unhealthy diet.

I have to say, the advantages are there too, breaking up the day in different experiences, and coming back in renewed (not through smoking but through getting out of a situation for a bit) And smoking is good relieve/release for anything in the end, if it rains: have a smoke, sun is out: have a smoke, you love someone dearly: have a smoke, you lover left: have a smoke (not trying to promote it though)

But I see the hold on me it has. And in one way I’m absolutely fine with it, otherwise I would have stopped aeons ago. On the other hand, on the brink of these changes I’m facing right now I realize it is holding me back. But I feel I cannot stop smoking for stopping of smoking itself. I need to tackle -why- I smoke, and how and when.
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