The simple fact of me being here, in these genekeys, confirms my victimhood/martyrdom, I am victim of my own beliefs, of my perceived need to do something about this life, about all that suffering, about all these longing(s).
While it just is (what it is) there is nothing to change, besides my perception and/or judgement/opinion about it (which is another half-truth) There is nothing to escape from or work towards.
Life just is, and I allow myself to be a victim of anything and everything I think life is supposed to mean, or be.
I hide behind millions of petty excuses -not- to engage (in) life fully, to not embrace everything and anything that is. But constantly feel the need to weigh whether I agree with it or not, which is totally besides the point of living (it).
There is -no reason- not to live life to the fullest, to the max, and beyond.
And fuck all my opinions and little aches and pains, and projections and conjured up reasons to excuse myself from doing what I should/could be doing: live !
Fuck my vanity…
Fuck my fears…
Surrender, or pep talk?
Blame, complain, identify. How easy and shallow am I (being fooled and fooling myself)