I’m so sorry, I don’t know why I did that

Oh, I’m still bleeding
———————————————
how you must hate me
because I did not understand
and I made that comment
when you told me this story
and then the other day
———————————————
of me
of you
I am so scared
———————————————
I am so bad
I am rotten to my core
of course you don’t like me
I know I should have expected this
I feel horrible about myself
I feel horrible
I don’t like it when I deserved it
did I deserve this?
am I bad?
———————————————
is it because you have reason to not like me?
is it because you don’t like me?
is it because of something else?
is it because of that?
is it?
when I looked at you funny
what happened the other day?
is it because of what happened?
———————————————
are you evil?
did I do something wrong?
why did -you- prick -me-?
why did you prick me?
don’t you love me?
———————————————
you scare me
———————————————
when you prick me?
what am I to think of me?
what am I to think of our relationship?
what am I to think of you?
what am I to think of this?
I don’t like that -you- pricked -me-
———————————————
I dont like being pricked
———————————————
auw that hurt
*prick*

the reversed reasoning of the not-self mind


Gate 42 of growth, increase. The expansion of the resources which maximizes the development of full potential.

Gate 42 Line 4 The middle man

Exalted: The quintessential manifestation of the mediator. The maturity to bring growth through mediation.
Detriment: Where the gift to establish and maintain relationships is ill-suited in this position to act in mediation where harmony must take a back seat to pragmatism. A lack of maturity where the power to harmonize distorts mediation and limits growth.

MoonBlog42.4b