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Moon Blog 37.3

I find it hard sometimes not to join in the clucking and cackling of mind-farts, when clearly silence is key, for me.

Reading these mental insights and breakthroughs, that I write myself sometimes (oftentimes? 🙂 ) too, only adding to the mindfuck dreamstate we all keep ourselves in.

bla bla cluck cackle, bla

I distract, you distract, we distract, nous distractons, vous distractez, ils distractont
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Moon Blog 42.1

“Help, is there a Reflector in the room?”

hurry hurry,
hurry,
rush,
hurry,
hurry,
hurry to the store,
hurry back from the store,
hurry to make dinner,
hurry to eat dinner,
hurry from the table,
hurry to the tv,
hurry to sleep,
hurry to wake up,
hurry to the toilet,
hurry off the toilet,
hurry to shower,
ok,
then not so much hurry to get out from under there.

So is showering the new solution, the solution we’ve overlooked for people with the Open Undefined Root?

Moon Blog 28.2

HappinezGuidoSjef

Last Wednesday I gave an Introduction to Human Design for a small group of people, and yesterday I assisted an Analist at a ‘mindstyle’ magazine Festival with about 20 mini/intro-readings each.

And each time in the beginning of me speaking, there is a tension, a nervousness and even plain fear/scare and within the first 2 minutes I stumble, on my words, or even blank out. So different to work with a group then just one person. I notice I want to connect and interact with the other, and I go deep to experience the other, so I can relate, so I can reflect them, so I use their behavior/experience to interact with. Which is impossible in a group it seems, for me.

So then I shield-up, or bubble-up and while still being able to see them, and interact with them, I don’t need the other anymore to do that, I stop feeling into them as a basis for my own behavior, I stop identifying myself with the experience I have of them, and I restart, I start to talk again, and all of a sudden it just flows from me. I found it really helps to voice that I am nervous with them, for them, that I need a moment to find my bearing. And once I do find it, in detachment, then my communicative abilities come out, and I can see them from my bubble and play with that, interact, make a joke or a comment about what I see/perceive, ask a question, but only after I have disconnected my experience from theirs.
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Moon Blog 18.4

It’s interesting to see and notice how many people ask question based on their own assumption, and therefor trick themselves in not finding the answer. One of the more seen and used trick is the mentioning of needing this or that, or claiming to have needed this or that comment, or person, or action.

But where is that need situated, where is that need felt, but perhaps more importantly, what triggers this experience of a need in the first place? What, triggers, it? Is it not the mind to begin with? Is it not our mental insecurity to experience a need for this or that?

When I/me/we say: I needed that cup of tea, or I needed this/that/other, are we not seeking something outside of ourselves to escape the experience we’re in, the one we feel insecure about? I need that motorbike ride to feel better, but why are you not feeling good in the first place, where does that ill-felt experience come from?
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Moon Blog 62.2

I’m clearing my mind, and its process is quite benign

I’m not asking my questions, anymore. Oh I still have plenty of them, some quite hilarious, some are great, and they are all, still, my questions. But I no longer seek answers to them. Nor seek to share them with you. At least, not for answering. Because the answers will always come to me, over time, regardless of me being with them, or without them. Regardless of me using them in conversations to pass the time of our togetherness.

However much or little effort I put into them, into asking or answering them, they will come, or not.

Or not

And that’s the result of living life as it is, just as it is. To have questions but not necessarily ask them. And certainly not have them answered !

The mind no longer in panic, no longer addicted to questioning, while still being able to ponder and wonder about so many things. Stepping out of the treadmill of prime-time Q&A, the great distractor.

But to call the result silence would be a misnomer, there is no actual silence within, me, but it has become quiet-er. From a run-down badly maintained treadmill loopty-loop with an obese giant running in it, deafening with each heavy step in its relentless pace, non-stop go-around, to a gentle rippling stream of ice-cold mountain water.

Clear as day
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Moon Blog 39.2

There is this chair that I like.

It started out quite a few months ago, when me and my then-girlfriend figured we’d like a comfy but not big/plush chair near the window, to sit in and read in the sunshine while being able to peek outside. To the sky, the city, the people way downstairs. And maybe even sit in together.

As I pondered what kind of chair, I happened to look online at a second hand website and also the Ikea website, and there it was, the Nolmyra. A perfect little light chair, but seemingly very comfortable and high enough for comfy reading and peeking outside, and perhaps even big enough for two. At least it was open enough on the sides.

But, it was not available, it could not even be ordered, and was not in store in any of the 12 Dutch shops. ‘How very odd, to have a chair on their website’, I thought, ‘but to be completely unavailable.’
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Moon Blog 41.4

hmm, seeing, insight. Unsure how to describe. There was a situation, which turned out quite heated from both sides, but were both rescued from doing what was said. In the aftermath people commented on how (again both) kept wallowing in it, kept talking about it the present tense, as if it was something really important. And people should take sides and everything. What great injustices were being done and so on, and on, and on, and on. On automatic pilot, running through it over and over and over again. It gave life meaning, and purpose, identity, righteousness, to boldly go where no man, yadda yadda yadda. The commenting of the people in the aftermath, to on the one hand yes, it did happen, but, no, to myself make such a big deal out of it and get over myself. To grow a pair and just ff-ing drop it, because there was no such importance to it, unless one wants to be a drama-queen. Unless one likes playing the most Oscar winning attempt of being a grandiose victim of all the injustice that life can ever throw at someone. ‘The Prima Donna Originale Deluxe Special Edition’
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MoonBlog 54.6

about 2 years ago I had a breakthrough regarding a (one) victimization pattern I experienced for decades. And as patterns go I felt bugged by it over and over and over again, but I could not see it, could not see the pattern, nor the inherent victimization, let alone my part in it and even me grabbing hold of it, and using it as something to even identify my life in and with. And it also really took a good 6 months from the start of the lifting of the veil until the final penny dropped.

But, from that moment on, I did not need healing of it anymore/either.

I was instantaneously free. That morning, I walked around free from all that past, from all that hurting, from all the sorrow and history and baggage. It felt so weird !

A call for healing seems like the same old same old to me, it means we are still in the pattern, still in regarding us as victims. Once the victimization stops (of money, of people, of situations) there is no hurt anymore and thus no healing needed.

MoonBlog 5.2

we can talk about which oven I use, you use, Harry uses, we can talk about this recipe or that one, but in the end it all comes down to making the cookies, and tasting them, digesting them, and even after, the whole cycle of cookies and you.

One day u will commit to your cookies, or not, and find out how u experience them, so u can share about the experience and not about your wavering anymore, not about your trying, or half-assed attempts. Not about this made up reason or that one.

You take the plunge and try it out, for yourself, and no one else, and observe what happens, as you go along. (on applying Strategy&Authority)

Moon Blog 59.5

Rarely do we seek the real breakthrough out of our misery, our sufferings and hurts. Rarely do we seek the Guide that can help to actually find the door through. And come up with all kinds of excuses like: this Guide is too brutal, too honest, too direct, too expensive, it’s a man, it’s a woman, all kinds of excuses we come up with to not go there, to not find the actual solution.

As we want to find solace, we seek comfort, and understanding -in- our drama, not end the drama all together, that would be too scary. Too real. We want people to listen to our story and nod in understanding, while saying ‘there, there now’.
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Easy

As our minds are in constant panic, we cannot fill it with anything worthwhile, yet. We cannot change direction in our thinking from one day to the next.

First help your mind to let go of this panic state, to let go of needing to solve and resolve everything and anything, constantly, incessantly.

Help your mind become the witness of life, your life. Be gentle, be kind, to your ferocious mind.

Stop repeating everything you once thought to be true, stop affirming that which might not be true anymore. Stop from fixing yourself in certain vibrations of being by the words you utter and the thoughts your inner tape-player has on automated shuffle repeat.

Perhaps your way of doing so is contemplation, meditation, inquiry, dancing, love making, gardening. Something, anything, or nothing to help ease your mind, slowly, slowly.

Maybe read not one book on one subject from only one author all immersed and deeply focused, but read a chapter of this one, and then a chapter of that one. So you can open up your being to anything and all, to not condition yourself too much in this way or that way, this belief or experience or that one.

Open up to all of it, while letting go of anything, and perhaps everything. Slowly, slowly. Gently.

(Moon Blog Gate 15.3)

Monsanto isnt evil, society is, you are

Monsanto is just an availabilionist, an opportunist of -this- society, our society, of which we are all part of. Monsanto is just an archetype (a good one I might add) of the worst kind, of our worst imaginings, of our worst -possible- options witin the society that we all helped create and still create, as it is a non-stop process. By our passive society-ship, by our hunger for more and cheaper, and better, faster, cleaner, prettier, and more covenient. If you are over 30-35 years old and have ever shopped at a supermarket your are part of the reason it ( an archetype like Monsanto) even exists in the first place. Studies have shown (yes statistics and lies) that we are more rich than ever, comparing to how much we have monthly to spend, how much food costs, and the free time we have. The freedom and choices for nonsense are staggering.
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Music was not my first love

For a few days now, I felt a desire to sit and meditate with some intense loud music.

Now, most music played on a proper volume has an effect on me, this is why I tend to be in silence and alone most if not all of the time, which I learned to enjoy more and more as I moved out and away from playing and listening to music all day every day since the age of 16 till 24. It was during my break in France where I found the silent inner space within, and since then I learned that music also can have an adverse affect on me.
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Aware are you?

we may have worldly consciousness where we see and understand, foresee and comprehend the world around us and the people in it or even other worldly consciousness beyond the mystical and the strange, but when we are not self conscious
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One Lunar Cycle




Make your own (right mouse click: save link as):

MoonBlog 26.2

A while ago, Nisarg mentioned I could have a look in Pune for doing Work as Meditation, as we spoke on and off about my life and work/money, but having been negative to anything guru or religion, it took me a while to even get used to the idea, but having read their website, they did seem to know what they were doing. So I became curious to this new way of looking at work which they claim/advertise

I knew no-one at the resort and application/reservation went all through email, which as it turned out, were other WAM people, new or old-timers, and having never been to India either, was quite the experience.

And I hated India, the stench, the pollution, the differences in wealth living side by side, death and misery next to luxurious mansions. Hate it !
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MoonBlog 23.4

Sometimes it feels like an € 1140,- prison, and feel I need to move, ‘faire bouger’.

It even sounds a little ungrateful, having all this. But it seems not enough. Or even too much, at times.

It just does not feel *just right* and wondering if anything ever will. Hmpf Noticing a great calm, eye of the storm perhaps even. Something is up, while nothing is going on.
Are we hiding, playing make belief, shallow superficiality, or…? Are we perhaps readying ourselves, sharpening our knives and qualities, honing them, or are we just licking our paws as we sink our fat bellies in the lush sunshine with clouds endlessly sailing by, and by, bye-bye.

Purring in hedonistic bliss.

*sigh* deeper and deeper, the merry go round.

Is a new giant leap coming, or will we let it pass us by until the next, or the one after, hmmm

Do you feel a pause, or a break, a momentous moment of stillness, or a dragging clutched drenched in sticky tar-sand gooey.

A slow rant that is lament, a kick in the nuts and a pat on the head.

And a cabin on a piece of land with a lake on-site in-sight, hmmm

*mumble mumble jumble tumble*
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MoonBlog 59.5

On Reflector Group Moderation

It is remarkable to on the one hand say you do not like to be told when doing something wrong, and at the same time kick those same people as being control freaks, and then also justify yourself by telling how little it actually is… Seriously dude…

2 reflectors walk into a French Restaurant, and -demand- ‘French’ fries with a Big Mac…

It is not that we -have- to post daily, all or each single one of us. It is not that we have to entertain or be entertained, like planet Generator is already doing 24/7 in this neon lit global village. There is nothing wrong with no postings for 3 months, like it happens in the Reflector email list.

Unless we do indeed want to gobble up shallow bits and sound bytes, and through it an feel comfortable in our feeling alienated.
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