The Goddess of Truth, Justice and Cosmic Harmony
The Goddess of Truth, Justice and Cosmic Harmony
Writing about Human Design is not as easy as it may seem. Besides it being an art, it is not easy to write in such a way, that what is said is actually true. And particularly mechanically correct, because this is about the description of mechanical functioning. And most people botch it up, they turn phrases around as if that is possible, as if the reverse is also true, or confuse functioning with meaning. But most of all, one tends to write about what they believe to be true with no real way of knowing or being able to verify. But it does sound nice for the story loving mind, so people continue, and if ‘everyone’ else gives them praise for it, then why should your one negatively perceived comment have any value? As you might see, the psychology to explain away with more mind and reasoning runs deep, very deep.
Another pitfall is that if it makes sense to the mind, it is therefor true. And if we then repeat it often enough and have a persuasive way of speaking, or writing, then everyone else also believes it to be true, as we continue to communicate on the mental level, alone. And several things I’m about to say will make no sense to some, but I’ll try and give an example first:
Strawberries are red. Strawberries are sweet when ripe. Strawberries are beautiful.
Most of us will agree with the 3 statements. But the last statement is a judgment. It is personal and subjective. It is not true for everyone. True perhaps for most people, maybe even 95% of the population on Earth. But it is not (therefor) a truth. And it is also not a truthful conclusion, however logical it may sound to our minds, it is not a given sequence that always works. Someone might have an allergy, or gets shivers just from looking at them, or as they touch the outside of them. As it freaks them out, deep in and from their core being, perhaps when they taste or smell them. Truthfully.
The same is true with Human Design descriptions. Some are true, some are simply false. But many people relatively easy go along with what is said, and the writer also believes what came up from their sometimes powerful minds, and run with it. While the reader tries to apply what is said. because what is said sounds true, it sounds like a general truth. And therefor I must …
Going inside is often mistaken for going more inside your mind.
Living in the illusion of retreating and writing what comes up, is the solution to the problems.
The problems that are made up by the same mind you are using to combat them. Fighting with yourself (!)
“We have a big premiere my parents come my brother comes Leonard comes there’s a big crowd. At the after party people shake my hand pat me on the back give me their business cards tell me the movie was amazing, incredible, great. I smile say thank you but I know it wasn’t very good. It hurts me to admit it, and it hurts me to accept it, my movie wasn’t very good.
The emotionally overwhelmed mind is unaware of any consequences, being caught up in only now, in this single moment of the wave there is no perception beyond this now. This can start to really fuck things up when speaking or acting before the clarity has actually arrived.
Following up on the wild interpretation of the intensity and ravishing all within reach for that singular phased truth, now. To only learn about the mis-take later, and to further the depth of drama may even beg for forgiveness, by that time it is either not applicable or can be too late.
It is the mind that regrets what the mind has done, in response to that momentary perception of this particular now, of this singular phase of the wave. If and when there is no truth in the now, who is speaking anyway and what is the content?
Feelings are like torrential rains, there is nothing you can do to stop them
We try to protect ourselves from these overwhelming experiences, but all you really have to ‘do’ is to stop what it is you -are- doing. And allow that flushing flood.
Just like in that massive rain, you can not continue walking, or driving your moped as the rain and winds beat down on you, the water and winds permeating your clothes and chilling you to the bone. Or even flying in a jet-plane through the clouds as you and the plane are rocked and shuffled
You have got to let go of having any control over this emotional weather.
Including the positive ones !
You stop, you look around, you discern what is happening, and make yourself as comfortable as possible for allowing the flow, of water and winds, feelings and emotions. Happy and sad ones.
And as the intensity rolls away and slowly slowly moves beyond the horizon, you go back to all those doings of life, walking on the pavement, on your moped on the soggy back-roads, or in a business jet-plane piercing the clouds.
I’m so sorry, I don’t know why I did that
Oh, I’m still bleeding
how you must hate me
because I did not understand
and I made that comment
when you told me this story
and then the other day
I am so scared
I am so bad
I am rotten to my core
of course you don’t like me
I know I should have expected this
I feel horrible about myself
I feel horrible
I don’t like it when I deserved it
did I deserve this?
am I bad?
is it because you have reason to not like me?
is it because you don’t like me?
is it because of something else?
is it because of that?
when I looked at you funny
what happened the other day?
is it because of what happened?
are you evil?
did I do something wrong?
why did -you- prick -me-?
why did you prick me?
don’t you love me?
you scare me
when you prick me?
what am I to think of me?
what am I to think of our relationship?
what am I to think of you?
what am I to think of this?
I don’t like that -you- pricked -me-
I dont like being pricked
auw that hurt
“the reversed reasoning of the not-self mind”
yesterday I read this link I found on FB:
and particularly nr.2 (“We know things without having to intellectually figure them out. Often called intuitive awareness, we have ‘a-ha’ moments and insights that can explain some of the most complex theories or phenomenon in the world.”)
spoke to me considering this topic (https://www.facebook.com/groups/96640388365/10152263961118366/). Because yes, some information needs to be verified, tested in our personal experimentation and some maybe scientifically and more. Within the greater scheme of things and the validity of Human Design particularly, but some really do seem unexplainable, and that is ok to be. Which is not about believing, but it is about trust.
And it is not even about trust that it will be ok (as in good), or it will be this or trust that it will be that. but trust that it does not matter to me, living my life what it actually is, how and why it is. That for me was the big breakthrough in my life, of having the acute realization of -not needing- to know anymore. While still not believing any of it, but simply having found an inner cadence to living my life, with the Lunar Cycle, with my S&A, and seeing that -that- actually works.
It is a great joy to notice people coming to me with all sorts of questions, conversations, remarks, discussions, arguments and more in private messages, about this, about that. Usually Human Design related, but some also on my other passions guitars and motorbikes and all their paraphernalia, and some relating to former occupations like my computer-tech business and inter-net-working and my education in graphic design.
Sure not all interactions go smoothly, but that sorts itself out rather quickly too.
To see people find me, and ask me stuff they can see in me, which I might not talk about, like solving puzzles/riddles on information. How does this work? Do you have any info on that? Which I usually do. Or know someone else who does.
Permaculture, I-Ching, Lunar Cycles, Gearbox ratios, Guitar bridges, marketing and lay-out, proofreading and feedback sessions and a dip in my extended digitized library of stuff, of information. Where some gets paid, some unexpectedly and some is shared for free sometimes also to my surprise.
I mean, hello everybody.
I don’t have a smart center, I don’t have an I know what I need to know center. I have centers for wisdom, yes, but none of my centers give me any indication of what I need to do in my life. None of them respond with any authority of what is and what is not correct for me, or whom.
My Inner Authority is a process, and it is through this processing that I can become aware of it. Latent, dormant, or quite new. What is what and what is me in or with that, and how. Is it this? Is it that? I do not yet know. I do not.
something is dawning on me, like an insight and perhaps preliminary conclusion (and perhaps complete and utter nonsense), which is; whatever the Reflector encounters, they -have- to filter it, and not even that, the filtering, the sampling has already started. There is no not filtering of someone, or something when it has reached the vicinity of a Reflector. And even going beyond the breathing in of life through the Digestion as in PHS where one can stop their sampling, their breathing in of this or that, as another sense has picked up on something or someone too.
And when filtering happens, conclusions happens, discernments happen.
I believe (.) that this is part why, we need to be so careful who we are with, what they say, what tv we watch, and what information we allow in our Facebook newsfeed.
Because we can not not filter that which comes in our lives, filtering started the moment one of our senses picked up on it. So filtering who you filter is in order. Here on Facebook this might mean to unfriend someone, or even block them, but unfollowing is also an option, while remaining FB friends. To stop all notifications from certain groups, or even leave certain groups, if and when you notice you are stuck filtering what is going on there.
And this also includes filtering messages about horrible things in the world, be it mistreated pets, or dolphins, tv-shows, movies, the news… as we can have (I say, but debatable) this mechanical functioning in processing about things that might not be for us.
All those lovely creatures doing all their coming together, all kinds of spiritual work, all the rituals all the movements, all the behaviorisms deemed to help them wake up, or even maybe, possibly, some day, if they are good enough, attain enlightenment. while not for once seeing, seeing with their minds eyes, that they will be stuck in the mannerisms and meditations the yoga exercises the roughing it out and chantings in groups, the long or short pilgrimages in the illusion that that is, how you wake the fuck up. That it is through the act, the doing, the postures, day in and day out, is how you become, or are a good person, a correct person, one who is awake. And all that is now needed, is only more people doing exactly like you are, thinking exactly like you too, what you are against, what you are for, having the same vision of how to better a world, how to change what is unwanted. If my own individual thoughts and behaviours, prayers, mantra’s and facetube posts do not help, it must be a numbers game. 144.000 people maybe/perhaps, as we then seek and ploy, to gain momentum, never alone, never enough, never good enough, never, NEVER ! How to change, this, and that, change, never accepting, never dropping, never letting go. Well, letting go of all the things we deem bad in ourselves, dropping all of those that we can not include in our vision for this world, for what we deem and seem and agree upon of what is spiritually correct, as we make signs to hang next to our frontdoors “love and light only”. While still not understanding why we, ourselves still suffer so much, inside, and when we can not contain it any longer, as it overflows our outside, our connections with others, our interactions, where we feel shame for our human behaviour, where we talk and talk gratuitously about our perceived wrongdoings, but never about our unwanted thoughts, our unwanted desires our yearnings, cravings, that are unfit to share, to express. How we overflow with angry frustrations, about our lives, our situations, our love lives. how, we, overflow but keep our heads down in search for the next, the next, the next… solution, the next meditation, the next group, in the next country, with the next lover. That lover who is, just like us, so open minded, so identical to our vision for the world, that was never my own vision but is something I fell into, and adhered to, felt drawn to. So I would not feel so alone anymore, so helpless, and incompetent, so ashamed, so angry, so… Until that lover too turns out to be an angry frustrated overflowing blob of shameful helplessness trapped in mannerisms and behaviourisms clinging with clasping fingertips to a sign from a frontdoor packing a bag in the hasted escape to another, the next, the … other… the other…?
The notion, as sometimes told/taught in Human Design, that your Gates on the Personality side are something you/your mind can identify with, and the description of the Design side Gates are something your family easier identify you with, is something else than presuming there are Types in either separated sides of our Human Design Bodygraph, and I am amused how this information can be shared here without any comment on it. But then it also took a Lunar Cycle to get back into this group.
Only in the quantum of the whole Design which includes both Personality and Design calculations do we arrive at Type, and it is only through this combination that the Aura has a specific functioning. Aura functioning…
And this Aura functioning is detectable. If you are lets say a Generator, I can detect you Sacral buzz. If you would be mistaken for a Projector in both Design and Personality individually but combined are a Generator, it is not true that you yourself will only detect you being a Projector and I will also detect you (only) as a Projector. That is using the information described above in our minds and running with it and making stuff up to seek meaning and purpose when there is none.
For years I have struggled with the notion, that Reflectors need or must have one or more confidants, sounding-boards, trusted allies to work through their Lunar Processing. This notion that the Reflector must share their issue with one or even several people over the course of a Lunar Cycle to hear their own processing and resolution as they share. Different with the neighbour, different 3 days later with a sibling, again different sharing on the same subject with your partner 10 days later, and so on.
It sounded then and still does like a fixed processing thing and I felt imprisoned by this need or must, to have to seek outsiders for my own processing. Whether that is due to not trusting so many people (ie a more psychological reason than mechanical) or because I simply wish (hehe I and wish, let’s call it my mind ok?) to be able to do stuff on my own, and find my own inner truth inside myself by myself (manifestor wannabee?)
But also, because for many, many years I was able so very often to find my own inner truth inside myself. And yes sometimes also through sharing it with others, both the issue as the process, but not always or all the time, actually, far less of the time then how this notion occurred to me.
Yesterday I was stunned to observe myself having this drive to talk to my then-girlfriend about something that I needed to make a decision on. I told her as well, that I just needed to share this information and process with her, and… listen to myself, while still being interested in her experience and observations as well, but mainly to share it, with her, with my confidant, my trusted ally, my beloved sounding board. And I was in the need for that, it felt like an important part of the processing to take place.
And I shared my topic, she shared her perspective. She let me ramble a bit and explain how I saw & experienced it so far, I asked her for her sense and opinion as I became more and more clear on what my answer is, as I gradually fell into the acceptance of what was correct, for me.
Nothing ever is similar. It is the minds desire for sameness and homogenization, to run away from the horrors of individuality (so it perceives this).
No Reflector is alike, no open Center has similar experiences. We can let go of these notions, and get on the path of uncovering ones uniqueness. Human Design is not yet another profiling tool where you are different on the surface but then can huddle and group together with ‘identical different people’.
That would be the mind wanting to believe this and aiming and even working towards such experiences. To hide away in the sameness of being (called) different, and have polite conversations over tea. That is not individuation and living out your design. That is just more mind tripping and seeking comfort for our fears as opposed to uncovering and learning more about our fears, knee-jerks, immoral desires and non-social traits.
Just because one uses the alphabet does not make one’s words poetry
Just because one uses Human Design information does not make one’s forecast hold any truth
But energy will go where it will flow, and one can be too ignorant to even be shamed
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Are we here to change the world?
Or are we here to learn to accept it, and notice our own processing of what we do and do not ‘like’ in it?
And if we are here to change the world, to which standards are we changing it, forcing it, willing it? Who decides?
XTZ 660 Ténéré met ~76.000km uit 1992 (ingeruild voor een BMW R1100RS)
water gekoelde 1 cilinder, 5 kleppen, 660cc motorfiets
21 inch voorwiel 17 inch achterwiel
168kg droog gewicht, 20 liter tank
voor en achter schijfrem met Steelflex remleiding voor
Originele (stille) uitlaat
nieuwe Nitro YTX9-BS accu
Iridium bougie voor nog beter starten (elektrisch), zuiniger rijden en rustiger lopen
Goede Michelin Anakee banden, goede remblokken
Recent nieuwe Ketting en Tandwielen
Krukasmoer en Balans-as moer allemaal nagekeken door garage
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Inclusief originele boord gereedschap (roestig)
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Alles functioneert zoals het hoort, uiterlijk een beetje veroudert.
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