Addiction

MoonBlog 7.6

in Human Design (and on FaceBook), the question comes up about discipline, and also what that means for Reflector, what does that look like, Dharmen talks shortly about discipline in his (free) preview here: Rave New Year Forecast 2014. Besides what the word ‘means’ [In its natural sense, discipline is systematic instruction intended to train a person, sometimes literally called a disciple, in a craft, trade or other activity, or to follow a particular code of conduct or “order”, source: Wikipedia]

And for me, with a 3 parts left variable, active brain, strategic mind and focused view, it means a great amount of effort, but in such small quantities and in such a continuous stream, that then becomes almost effortless doing. I compare it to either getting addicted to any drug, or kicking that same kind of addiction. Lots and lots (and then some more) of little amounts of a substance, or an act.

While also keeping that bit of tension on it, nearly always, never letting go of what you do and perhaps why, but without it being a mental concern (it is not after all) it is something your inner spirit craves for, or seeks to stop being with.

As Jed McKenna says: “I can’t not do this. Wouldn’t recommend it though.”
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Chakra Two: Swimming in the Waters of Difference

“Addictions are difficult to classify in terms of chakras because different substances produce different states. Even addiction in general cannot be classified in any single chakra. In chemical dependency, the drug of choice gives us important clues about chakra imbalances. For example, stimulants or depressants relate primarily to the energy dynamics of the third chakra, while alcohol creates the merging and lessening of inhibition more closely related to the second chakra. Excessive eating may be an attempt to ground, related to chakra one; a move toward pleasure (chakra two); or blocked anger in the third. But all addictions are initially an attempt to create or deny a feeling or a state of consciousness. The attempt to create a particular state is a compensation, while denial is an avoidance. This gives us our basic excessive and deficient coping strategies.
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MoonBlog 19.2

Tobacco III

5 whole weeks have passed since I’ve finally taken myself up on actually making work of stopping to smoke.

It has been in the making for several years now, in that sense I’m not stupid, I know I shouldn’t. But the thing that prevented me from doing it, was lack of joy in quitting. I mean, need for/to, and logic alone is not good enough. For me. And I quite enjoy smoking, actually, and still do.

I enjoy it because I’m rewarding myself in that sense, every so often, I give myself a cigarette, it is a cheap, small and easy gift, poisonous none the less, but still. You can give yourself lots of them daily, relatively cheap, even now when governments have enormously increased the prices.
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MoonBlog

Tobacco II

Today started with smoking only at the whole hour (handy wristwatch can tell me with a beep) instead of whenever. Trying to break through the habbit itself besides the addiction.

Noticed sometimes I smoke more per hour and sometimes none for several hours.

Tomorrow will see what options my health care assurance provides/accepts as viable treatments. Been reading meanwhile and soft-laser acupuncture interested me.

And as for doing something else instead of smoking while kicking it, I’ve bought a superb Kettler multi-gym fitness machine almost a year ago, still in the box in the hallway, awaiting me 😉

Small steps..
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MoonBlog 8.4

Bravado

As I was contemplating my last noticeable physical/mental addiction smoking, it sort of dawned on me that it has probably something to do with my open root center/gates. This stress and nervousness that I do not face but try to evade. And in doing so with this specific drug, I probably increase it, because of the physical effects of smoking. Thinner blood, colder body, eating less, no sports, unhealthy diet.

I have to say, the advantages are there too, breaking up the day in different experiences, and coming back in renewed (not through smoking but through getting out of a situation for a bit) And smoking is good relieve/release for anything in the end, if it rains: have a smoke, sun is out: have a smoke, you love someone dearly: have a smoke, you lover left: have a smoke (not trying to promote it though)

But I see the hold on me it has. And in one way I’m absolutely fine with it, otherwise I would have stopped aeons ago. On the other hand, on the brink of these changes I’m facing right now I realize it is holding me back. But I feel I cannot stop smoking for stopping of smoking itself. I need to tackle -why- I smoke, and how and when.
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