Last Wednesday I gave an Introduction to Human Design for a small group of people, and yesterday I assisted an Analist at a ‘mindstyle’ magazine Festival with about 20 mini/intro-readings each.
And each time in the beginning of me speaking, there is a tension, a nervousness and even plain fear/scare and within the first 2 minutes I stumble, on my words, or even blank out. So different to work with a group then just one person. I notice I want to connect and interact with the other, and I go deep to experience the other, so I can relate, so I can reflect them, so I use their behavior/experience to interact with. Which is impossible in a group it seems, for me.
So then I shield-up, or bubble-up and while still being able to see them, and interact with them, I don’t need the other anymore to do that, I stop feeling into them as a basis for my own behavior, I stop identifying myself with the experience I have of them, and I restart, I start to talk again, and all of a sudden it just flows from me. I found it really helps to voice that I am nervous with them, for them, that I need a moment to find my bearing. And once I do find it, in detachment, then my communicative abilities come out, and I can see them from my bubble and play with that, interact, make a joke or a comment about what I see/perceive, ask a question, but only after I have disconnected my experience from theirs.