rant

MoonBlog 45.2

So, another Human Design Teacher described FaceBook as a whole, and HD groups in particular as the not-self world to me the other day. This got me to contemplate my role (t)here, again.

Because I realize these groups are devoid of true HD information, of what it is, and means, to live your design, properly. And yes even if your daily life looks different than mine, or yours, and yours too, the construct of it does not change, Strategy and Authority is not different in the framework of it. How openness works is not different. So I do my best to reply whenever I see or think something is off, when it is either diluting HD or if it is the complete opposite of what HD is, and yes, to me, this includes any kind of ritual, or using anything external for temporary relief, and any and all homogenization.

The comments I get in private and some of the likes from people who are experimenting for a while with HD is helpful. The comments from those that (usually) have not, is incredible. Hurtful even as they gang up, and pound and pound about the tone, about the ‘spirit’ of it, about who I supposedly am as a person, how offended they themselves are by my words about the content they have posted, about -what- they have said. Calling names, shouting and cursing in private messages, giving all kinds of moral pressures of their own frustration and anger, of which I am indeed the trigger but not the cause.

It is not my fault you never learned to communicate, never had any one say: “No, what you just said is untrue in my world and here is why”. And then is unable to deal with that and just gets into a fit and rage. And get all personal about you instead. And then 3 or 5 or 7 others join in with the same bullshit, convinced as they are, feeling empowered by the same stupidity, by the same beliefs.

And not once considering how this holding on to these old beliefs is the reason for their own suffering, for their own anger, for their failed outlook on life. This new age belief of make-ability of needing to be love, of needing to meet love only, for life to succeed, to feel better. And here are tools to feel better. not -be- better, no, -feel- it, perceive it, live in the illusion of feeling better. When year after year even being in groups as these, the suffering continues, and oozes out in the reactions, to people like me. To and about Human Design.
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Moon Blog 20.1

A little history lesson here.

In the other Reflector group a while ago, some heated debates occurred, some with me, but all of a sudden to the fact it was an Open Group. Open for non Reflectors, as it has always been since it was made, but who reads the about group message that you see upon admission right?

So this became a huge problem, and Sabrina was so nice to make a new, closed group, only for Reflectors. The backlash she got from doing that without consulting them, whoever them are ! She just saw the call, the desire, wherever it might have come from/originated, and felt the push to act upon and did. She made a Reflector only group. It got populated with people.

In the mean time, some individual arguments continued, people started blocking me, I started blocking others. All so we don’t have to be triggered anymore by each others writings. I learned to embrace it.
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MoonBlog 23.4

Sometimes it feels like an € 1140,- prison, and feel I need to move, ‘faire bouger’.

It even sounds a little ungrateful, having all this. But it seems not enough. Or even too much, at times.

It just does not feel *just right* and wondering if anything ever will. Hmpf Noticing a great calm, eye of the storm perhaps even. Something is up, while nothing is going on.
Are we hiding, playing make belief, shallow superficiality, or…? Are we perhaps readying ourselves, sharpening our knives and qualities, honing them, or are we just licking our paws as we sink our fat bellies in the lush sunshine with clouds endlessly sailing by, and by, bye-bye.

Purring in hedonistic bliss.

*sigh* deeper and deeper, the merry go round.

Is a new giant leap coming, or will we let it pass us by until the next, or the one after, hmmm

Do you feel a pause, or a break, a momentous moment of stillness, or a dragging clutched drenched in sticky tar-sand gooey.

A slow rant that is lament, a kick in the nuts and a pat on the head.

And a cabin on a piece of land with a lake on-site in-sight, hmmm

*mumble mumble jumble tumble*
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MoonBlog 46.2

WTF, are we doing (here)?

today I didn’t wake up as the artful transmuter, ever since finishing the 3rd webinar I feel shite, or confused, no, angry even.

If we do not exist, if we are not here, then what are we doing (here), why bother (with) this whole process. Why not end it all here and now. I’m no avid believer of suicide, but what the fuck is the point of augmenting the frequency of my dna, if even that does not exist, actually, in reality (?)

Sure, don’t identify with being whatever (a doctor, a reflector, a woman) on this plane, but then it nullifies the genekeys and this quantum field instantaneous too. I had that thought earlier when discussing HDS (Human Design System) and IHD (Integral Human Design), if there is no framework, there is no us even, then what is this transmission we’re supposed to contemplate and embody?
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