4/6 Reflector PLL-DLR

December 2020

SunBlog 11.5 the philanthropist (in Detriment)

Weirdos in the mail

weirdo: “Dear Sjef

I just happened to come across this post of yours with the following para:

“The other day (August 21st 2020), Earth was in Gate 30 line 5, which I do not have in my chart, nor do I have Gate 41, but I’ve never seriously felt more depressed and suicidal than ever before, when for instance I was in much more dire situations/outer circumstances. No I was just sitting there on my bed, watching tv, a comedy even, and I became deeply depressed and suicidal. This Gate 30 has always been a huge trigger for me. Nothing cosmic or bath-like for me, unless it was to drown myself in, to die.” [from MoonBlog 34.5 annihilation]

My feedback to you about the email exchanges around that date, specifically, 22. August, is that you may like to think twice about writing to a tutee/or someone you guide, when you yourself are in a difficult place.

Your comments depressed me about my life: ie what I had considered to be its culmination and its meaning, may actually have been completely wrong. – I fell into depression.

Fortunately, no lasting damage has been done.
I have recovered.

Retrospectively, I think your remarks were insensitive.

There is no need to answer this email.”

me: You’re full of shit since -you- did not even start emailing until august 28th

and I was completely fine the next morning of the 22nd, since it was only a Transit. I was not depressed or suicidal, I was under the impression I was, through an external influence. That is the big joke with Transits, they come, they go, and the big trick with Reflectors is, they can walk out unscathed.

Being aware/awake is not a picnic, don’t blame others for your own experiences, if you seek happiness and fluffy bunnies, go elsewhere. If you think I was being insensitive; impossible since we were not even writing each other. It never happened. Dream on.

Don’t email ever again, I have no appetite for any of these kind of false projections and accusations.

Update/add-on (of course they email again):

weirdo: “You were right: I got the dates wrong. I apologise without reservation.”

me: It’s not even about the dates. It is the hubris and arrogance and then the aggression, that anyone else is responsible for your experiences of your own life. The ridiculous notion that someone else did anything to you and you are a victim, of me no less. Shooting the messenger.

Given that such a reaction to the Human Design information is a great signpost that all is not lost, that you are actually human and face the music of your not-self. That is supposed to be depressing, it is supposed to be horrible to realize with real eyes. Unless you’re already dead inside.

I never forget, but I do forgive, through money. Send 400 euros into my account as a proper token of excuses and repenting. That’ll get you off my blacklist. Read more

µTracer 3+ build 8

Part 8. grid bias circuit construction

Part 8. grid bias circuit testing and calibration

measuring -12.64 Volt regardless of Calibration slider after making one mistake
I put D21 (HER108) in the spot of D12
during step C9 I found out (because I had 2 more items left instead of 1)

I unsoldered HER108 and put in D21 and then put the correct 1N5934 in D12

follow the whole build here: µTracer 3+ build

MoonBlog 34.5 annihilation

“The (un)bearable lightness of being…”

“2 days of no transit definition. All 9 centres white. A rare opportunity for Reflectors to savour the complete absence of any kind of pressure from without and within. Difficult to find the right words to express the delight I am experiencing in this limitless space and time, the weightlessness of the body moving around as if floating. No definition, no structure, no mind interfering in this experience of “the (un)bearable lightness of just being there – in wonder…”

Reflectors around the globe – watch out for those days and find a way to be by yourself in those rare moments… you might be up for a surprise!”

and: “It happened again today… yes – it’s difficult to describe in words Isabel Moreira. I imagine that’s why some people use drugs to have that kind of experience. Maybe later on something pops up to share more with my Reflector kin… For now I am just savouring this cosmic bath… in silence… ?” – Nisarg B. Nikiel

What is this notion of a cosmic bath? Right now the Moon is in Gate 34 forming a temporary conditioned definition with my Gate 20. Besides we’re not here to live the Transits themselves, and even then, our individual experience will always be different, regardless of what the resulting chart looks like. The chart is not the life (!)

The other day (August 21st 2020), Earth was in Gate 30 line 5, which I do not have in my chart, nor do I have Gate 41, but I’ve never seriously felt more depressed and suicidal than ever before, when for instance I was in much more dire situations/outer circumstances. No I was just sitting there on my bed, watching tv, a comedy even, and I became deeply depressed and suicidal. This Gate 30 has always been a huge trigger for me. Nothing cosmic or bath-like for me, unless it was to drown myself in, to die.

There are no fairy tales in Human Design and certainly no homogenization, so when there are no channels formed by the Transits, it does not have to mean anything at all, and most certainly not for all Reflectors, no made up surprises, nothing the same for anyone/everyone else. Even when ‘no definition’ shows up. Nothing is fixed, not positive not negative.

Weirdo in the mail about this post here: SunBlog 11.5 the philanthropist (in Detriment) Read more